Looking in the mirror

As a wise man once said "If you want to know who truly loves you then you must look in the mirror and see what they see. Only then will you understand"

OK so I made that up. Well I think I did for you never know, somewhere someone may have really said that. The sentiment though I'm sure is neither new nor worn out.

The challenge that we each face is looking at ourselves. We find it easier to go around wearing a mask, our 'game face', rather than being truly at peace with ourselves and the rest of the world in which we live. For to find that peace you have to look deep inside the corners of your soul reaching even the bits that you have fought for so long to bury however unsuccessfully over your life. Without true introspection how can you ever hope to connect with another human being?

As a psychologist I've seen so many theories about how we interact with our surroundings and it is so important to us to discover the whys and hows that a multi billion dollar industry has grown up telling you how to do it. The really sad part is that you already know how to do it. The challenge is, as Susan Jeffers says, is that you "Have to feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" Now here's a woman who made a fortune telling people the blindingly obvious so that kind of tells you what I'm on about.

It is almost as if we are paralysed with fear about everything we do. We are scared to change because although we may hate where we are we have our comfort zone and hey we all need our teddy bear right? The reality though is that we have been changing ever since we were conceived and we will continue to change until we are no longer mortal. And you never know we may even continue beyond that too. Our challenge comes from managing that change so that we don't melt down in some ignominious public way that will leave us as a social leper for the rest of our living days. So we take little toe dipping steps so as not to cause a problem. Result- our teddy bear gets bigger and our fears become unmanageable so we limit ourselves to remaining well...ourselves.

All I know from looking in my mirror is that I see a man who has had some success, some love in his life and some bad times too. What I see is a soul that clearly feels drawn to helping others but often hasn't got a clue how to do it. I see a deeply unhappy part of my soul too, one that will be forever longing for things to be different. What I see is a perfectly normal man who is trying to find a path through uncharted territory without hurting too many or getting blown into dangerous waters. What I see is a perfectly normal human being.

So when you wake up tomorrow and you face yourself in the mirror just remember it's OK to be you but if you want to change something it will be inevitable that you will change something. Don't beat yourself up, don't castigate yourself, just accept that you have so much to give to all those around you.

Live with Passion people. Peace and Happiness.