Sunday 29 January 2012

Looking in the mirror

As a wise man once said "If you want to know who truly loves you then you must look in the mirror and see what they see. Only then will you understand"

OK so I made that up. Well I think I did for you never know, somewhere someone may have really said that. The sentiment though I'm sure is neither new nor worn out.

The challenge that we each face is looking at ourselves. We find it easier to go around wearing a mask, our 'game face', rather than being truly at peace with ourselves and the rest of the world in which we live. For to find that peace you have to look deep inside the corners of your soul reaching even the bits that you have fought for so long to bury however unsuccessfully over your life. Without true introspection how can you ever hope to connect with another human being?

As a psychologist I've seen so many theories about how we interact with our surroundings and it is so important to us to discover the whys and hows that a multi billion dollar industry has grown up telling you how to do it. The really sad part is that you already know how to do it. The challenge is, as Susan Jeffers says, is that you "Have to feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" Now here's a woman who made a fortune telling people the blindingly obvious so that kind of tells you what I'm on about.

It is almost as if we are paralysed with fear about everything we do. We are scared to change because although we may hate where we are we have our comfort zone and hey we all need our teddy bear right? The reality though is that we have been changing ever since we were conceived and we will continue to change until we are no longer mortal. And you never know we may even continue beyond that too. Our challenge comes from managing that change so that we don't melt down in some ignominious public way that will leave us as a social leper for the rest of our living days. So we take little toe dipping steps so as not to cause a problem. Result- our teddy bear gets bigger and our fears become unmanageable so we limit ourselves to remaining well...ourselves.

All I know from looking in my mirror is that I see a man who has had some success, some love in his life and some bad times too. What I see is a soul that clearly feels drawn to helping others but often hasn't got a clue how to do it. I see a deeply unhappy part of my soul too, one that will be forever longing for things to be different. What I see is a perfectly normal man who is trying to find a path through uncharted territory without hurting too many or getting blown into dangerous waters. What I see is a perfectly normal human being.

So when you wake up tomorrow and you face yourself in the mirror just remember it's OK to be you but if you want to change something it will be inevitable that you will change something. Don't beat yourself up, don't castigate yourself, just accept that you have so much to give to all those around you.

Live with Passion people. Peace and Happiness.

Wednesday 25 January 2012

Holier than thou with a touch of fuel poverty

Two things have caught my eye today for different reasons but ultimately with the same ending.

Firstly The Times led with  a story about Lord Carey, the former Archbishop of Canterbury being critical of his fellow bishops over leading the revolt over welfare reforms. Is he right. Well he would be right to remember the luxury that he lived in as the Archbishop of Canterbury and the first class travel he was afforded as a leader of the Anglican community. Or maybe his Lordship has developed selective Alzheimer's over that one?

Are there people in this country in poverty? Absolutely. Are there people in this country who have no desire to work? Yes. The real question is what are we going to do about it? A one rule fits all scenario is always going to be the way governments play it and Duncan=Smith has been playing to the audience, or should I say core voters when it comes to welfare reforms.

Here's an idea! New Deal, no not that stupid pathetic attempt by Tony Blair to manipulate the jobless figures. Real unemployment has stayed pretty much at the levels it is now since the British manufacturing industry was decimated in the 1970s and 1980s and successive governments have manipulated figures to hide the true situation from the world worrying that investment might not come into broken Britain. No the New Deal I'm on about is that which was so triumphed by Franklyn D Roosevelt in the 1930s.

It's a radical thought but how about we approach the giant civil engineering companies and persuade them through long term public building projects to take on and retrain people who are unemployed or on low incomes. The bill would be massive sure but in reality if you are using the money set aside for welfare in the budget to pay for the contracts and the civil engineering companies are forced by law to pay a fair days wage for a fair days work then even if half those on low paid or who are unemployed take up the offer we can rebuild the public transport system of the UK in 10 years alone, not the 20 for HS2 on its' own. Thus improving our economy and reducing our welfare bill. And giving our children hope!

That is true public private enterprise.

Now turning to the other side of things and the story that petrol is set to hit £7 a gallon on the front of the Express and the Mail. Well here are two papers adept a scaremongering. We have at least two, yes two months oil reserves in Britain at any given time and the refinery has gone into administration not stopped refining and that is a different scenario.

The only reason that we will see massive petrol price rises is because of the greed of the oil companies and the government who get 80 percent, yes 80 percent of the oil pound in taxation revenue.


Thirty years go when I read for my first degree, some of you will already know that was in physics, I was given an assignment to look at the future viability of alternative sources of energy generation given that it was expected for oil and gas to run dry by the early 2020s to the mid 2050s. So after doing lot of research I discovered that essentially the technology for efficient generation of alternate fuel sources was either already there or very close to being there. Thirty years on we are still controlled by Oil and Gas companies with the same stranglehold over our economies as the water barons had over ranchers and farmers in the old Wild West. I thought we had learned, well obviously not and so are we likely to be in fuel poverty for a long time to come? Absolutely.

Change is difficult, change is scary but change is an absolute must if we as a species are to grow and prosper to the benefit of all not the few.


And if we do not change we will die!


copyright T Senior 2012







   

Tuesday 10 January 2012

Hey you, you with the bacon sarnie, who smokes and drinks

So David Cameron has called for greater hands on contact between health professionals and their clients. I hate to use the word patient now because it's all so politically incorrect. And after all when it comes to healthcare it's now all about political correctness isn't it. And that means everything is bound to be your fault. 


You eat badly, you smoke too much, you drink too much, you don't exercise, you veg out in front of the telly, those shoes will knacker your spine. Yes we've heard it ll before and guess what you'll hear it all again too. Why? Because there is nothing that is ever really that new when it comes to healthcare. Remember an apple a day keeps the doctor away! Of course you do your mum or dad told it to you to scare you into thinking that you were going to get all sorts of lurgy if you didn't have an apple. What they should really have been shouting is prevention is better than cure. And if you want prevention then you have to get things away from doctors. Why? Well because doctors treat symptoms not cure people.

I have worked extensively in and around the NHS for pretty much all my adult life, well since university anyway and I am extremely proud of what is one of Great Britain's two great legacies to the world. (The Royal Navy being the other) However if you leave it to the NHS to prevent disease you are asking for too much. If you want to prevent things you need to EDUCATE. Give a man a fish and you stop the hunger for a while, teach a man to fish ..... well you all know the motto.

Doctors are not generally educators, in fact they are the worse educators going. Nurses are better listeners generally and therefor generally better educators but even this wonderful group of people struggle when it comes to clear communication these days. And there lies the point, when you go to the doctors you do so because you have a medical problem you don't go because you want to be told you've been a bad person and be blamed for bringing on that problem.

Should the medical profession be better with their bedside manner? Absolutely. Most junior doctors are straight out of university and completely wet behind the ears having not been taught any communication skills and many GP's still act as if they should be revered like Gods. My GP is great I have to say because he is of the old fashioned mode. He listens and then talks, and he is a very good listener, which coming from a psychologist is high praise indeed. Unfortunately he is not the norm and many people still feel uncomfortable because of the inability of their carers to effectively bond with them. And also there is the pressure on the system to get you in then out the door on a conveyor.

So getting medical professionals to start asking these blame game questions is ultimately going to lead to problems not least of all because people lie. 

When you tell a doctor that you smoke so many or drink so much they double the figure at least so we then get into the truth game. This I'll comment on in my other blog http://alcoholdebate.blogspot.com/ so in reality we don't ever get the right information for any given situation.

Thus in a nutshell we need to have better public education and information. Lip service is paid to this in PSHE lessons in schools but as teachers are also not really trained in this area are these lessons as effective as they could be and do young people just treat them as a lazy period?

So once again I come back to my regular argument stating clearly that you need to have the right people, doing the right education, giving the right information in the right way.

Educate, educate big time and educate now! But do not preach for a sermon is not required!




Thursday 5 January 2012

In Abbot more trouble

Oh dear Diane you really have caused a stir haven't you. But what's wrong with that? It is totally irrelevant if you have upset a few people or not what is important is that you've got people talking far more successfully than many politicians have done in the last 20 or so years.

I don't believe that the colour of your skin makes you the person you are. I do believe that our society can fundamentally place so much environmental pressure on an individual within a certain part of that society during their formative years that some people eventually do start acting like old fashioned stereotypes. And it is very hard for young people especially to break out of those stereotypes.

Do certain parts of our society try to rule by divide and conquer techniques, yes of course they do it works well. Are he majority of power brokers in Britain white, of course they are. Does that mean all white people work the same way, don't be silly. You can turn this round very easily by looking at India. Do Indian power brokers work the same way? Of course they do. Are Indian power brokers white, of course not they're Indian. In fact that is how power works, in any society in any race. A few people try to rule by dividing the rest. Political systems work the same way, two or maybe three main parties with followers and a few thousand floating voters who ultimately decide who is kept in power. Divide and conquer and no party ultimately carries the majority of the votes, well in the UK anyway.

We need to start thinking in a different way. We need to start working together to improve the planet we live on. We all share the same oxygen, we all bleed red and we all need water. We are human beings we are a single species that is in severe danger of wiping itself out through greed, disease, poverty and power. We strip mine the planet, we watch children starve and die, we build war machines to kill others who do not follow our ideals and yet we still claim that we are great.

Greatness comes from compassion, greatness comes from discovery, greatness comes from growth, greatness comes from unity. If Diane Abbot has done one thing today she has got s talking and got us looking at ourselves and for that I will not castigate her.

If we seek everlasting change, if we seek the human race's improvement, if we truly seek empowerment and survival then we need to learn to work together.

Enough small drops together make a tidal wave  

You see, I am a psychologist!

Well today was a better start, especially for my son.

He's at school now, told you he would be. He woke up this morning still feeling scared, still producing smells from his rear end like Stig of the dump but determined to overcome his fears. I held his hand on the way to school and the minute he got there all his friends mobbed him with cuddles and pats on the back. His relief was obvious. I know he will be okay now he's back.

There will still be wobbles, that is natural, but hopefully the hurdles and the wobbles will continue to get smaller and as he comes up with coping strategies as he gets older they may well be brought totally under control. If they aren't so what it just goes to prove he's human and not some machine.

Just remember folks we all have human frailties and as such we will all have our ups and downs. Life is cyclical and the next day, the next hour may be better, or worse than the last but it will not be the same and change is inevitable.

For if we do not change we stop and if we stop we die. Change is the only constant thing in the whole of the universe.

Wednesday 4 January 2012

January Blues? Or hidden trauma?

This morning has been really tough for me.

It has been tougher for my ten year old son.

He is a wonderful boy. Clever, witty, cute, inspiring, friendly, caring are but a few words that describe him. He suffers badly though. Not from some terrible life threatening disease thank God, although he has gone blind pretty much in one eye, but from something that is painfully debilitating. He suffers from panic attacks. Panic attacks so severe that they leave him retching over the toilet, farting like a trooper, shaking like a new born lamb in the middle of a snowfield and having palpitations that would confuse many a cardiologist . They are the most awful things to watch and they centre around one thing ........school.

Now some of you will say he is just doing this for attention, for another day off after Christmas. Oh how I wish that were true. I genuinely wish that it was as simple as that. The psychologist in me yearns for such a simple solution as that, it begs for one. Unfortunately it isn't as simple as that for he has suffered these attacks since being attacked at school by a teaching assistant. An attack that was witnessed and brushed under the carpet by a school, a headmistress and system that makes the Stephen Lawrence inquiry pale into the background.

Without a shadow of a doubt there is institutionalised racism out there in the ranks of the power brokers in our society and without a doubt there is insitutionalised bigotry out there when it comes to mental health issues. Especially when it goes against the mantra of a system that is supposed to be caring.

To give you a brief outline, my son started school at 4, he went to the brightest of schools in the whole of the Trowbridge Area, the one with the most accolades and a headmistress lauded by the system as the next best thing to the Messiah. He had difficulty settling in and on one day when he was saying goodbye to his mother, having that last reassuring and comforting cuddle he was suddenly confronted by the school secretary and a teaching assistant ordering her from the premises for no reason. He was then physically snatched from his mother's arms by the teaching assistant so violently that he was left physically bruised for days and psychologically traumatised. His mother was then not allowed to speak to him as he screamed in physical pain and was frog marched out of the school.

A complaint was made, the headmistress then started on a cacophony of lies backed up by Governors so weak  that a feather duster could have blown them down and a LEA that refused to intervene and left him to evaporate in the ether

The upshot of this was he ended up being forced into home education.

Last year he finally went back to school. He went to a school where he was nurtured as he should have been from the start, to a school that I have only the most grateful of thoughts and eternal thanks towards because the Headmaster and his team understood how traumatised he had been and how he needed very careful handling. Within weeks he was starting to blossom and his progress has been nothing short of miraculous to the point where he led the narration in the nativity concert this Christmas, a moment that any parent would have been proud of. He left school a happy and contented child.

Unfortunately though this morning the old fears resurfaced and he suffered a wobble. A wobble so big that he locked himself in the bathroom crying and retching. He is calm now and I am confident he will be there at school again tomorrow for it is the fear of going not the actuality of going to school that now causes the problem. Although he has had a wonderful Christmas surrounded by those who he loves the fact that most have them have now departed has left him feeling a little vulnerable.

So the point of this story? Well quite simply for those of you out there struggling with the January Blues remember that mental health challenges can affect anyone of any age at any time and in any given situation. It is not something that we should shy away from discussing but it is something that we as a society need to be more tolerant and understanding of. And we should never allow a system to beat down an individual to the point where they feel useless or impotent.

All it needs for evil to succeed is for one good man not to stand up.

    

Tuesday 3 January 2012

Of wind and rain

Go on do your worst blow me down
For I shall not wear a frown
I love your nature thy mighty blow
I wish more would say what a show!

Nature at it's ragged best
Time to take a thermal vest
And comes the gale so wet
You'll be inside by now, I'll bet

For all that nature can expel
The sharpest blow, the grandest swell
To mice, to men who stand aloft
To tall skyscraper, to modest croft

'Tis mother nature's way you see
To make us scared to make us flee
But soon the rain she goes away
To bring to us the brightest day

Monday 2 January 2012

Welcome to the New Year

Well it's now 2012 and the year of civilisation's demise if the Mayans are to believed. There are many out there who prophecise the end of the world is nigh and that we are all doomed. Well I for one hope that is not true.

As a species the human race is the first in our known history capable of destroying itself. It is also capable of overcoming adversity beyond comprehension. We are powerful and strong but at the same time small and weak. We have the ability to do and have already done many great things. Yet unfortunately Newton is right in so much as for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. We as a human race have done many negative and bad things throughout history.

It is the mark of a civilisation that it grows, learns, adapts and achieves a higher purpose. Human beings are a long way from reaching that higher purpose whatever it may be. This is why we have religion and this is why we believe so passionately about some kind of omnipotent higher being. And this takes me back to a discussion that I had as a Varsity student in the early hours of he morning in a cramped room having been out most of the night drinking copious amounts of alcohol. A discussion that was repeated frequently over my student life, yet a discussion that is relevant and important today.

My first degree, physics, taught me that our ultimate goal with regards to understanding the universe was something called th Grand Unification Theory. The idea that all the forces of the universe were mathematically aligned to be part on one ultimate force and therefore co-joined and integral to each other. My friends the philosophers would classify this as some kind of measure of the soul, my theologist friends would call it God. And my legal friends argued that it could never exist as we could not prove it.

And there lies the dilemma for if we are part of some overwhelming force and energy source then by the very nature of force and energy change is inevitable. That means there are natural cycles of everything because one thing that I learned and was the golden rule was that energy can neither be created nor destroyed merely changed.

So I hope the world doesn't end in 2012 but I also hope that we learn from our past mistakes and change our human direction. Kindness overcomes hostility, friendship overcomes pain and love, well that simply make the world go round.

Wishing you a happy 2012 and hope that all your hopes, wishes and dreams come true.