Hungry for it ... Part 2 in Malta

Well I said that I would continue this particular stream of thought but I never expected that I would do this because of the circumstances that arose to give me the inspiration.

And I say inspiration in a muted sense for what I am about to describe is not exactly what one would normally describe as inspirational.

Yesterday we took a jet from Heathrow to Zurich, an uneventful journey apart from the excess of £60 that I had to pay because of the stupidity of my bank blocking my card for security reasons forcing me to pay for service desk rather than e-ticket. (That's for another story though). The jet was spacious, clean and the staff were welcoming and friendly all what I have come to expect of years travelling with Swissair. As predicted we landed at Zurich on time and were transferred through to our Air Malta flight with relative ease. The staff welcomed us on board and for a local carrier the aeroplane was surprisingly modern and clean. The pilot took off with a little of an attempt to recreate a roller coaster ride but soon we were zooming over the tops of the Italian Alps and heading South for Rome then Sicily. Dinner was served and I have to say it was a rather nice combination of chicken, aubergine salad and hummus with coconut macaroon to follow and wine flowing a plenty. (Beat the hell out of Ryanair, another story)

And then it all went wrong. my daughter was sitting behind me and me and my son occupied aisle seats. Suddenly from behind there were cries of help and panic filled the cabin. Now in today's world this leads to all sorts of thoughts flowing through one's mind and I started thinking back to the earlier part of our journey when some road rage maniac in Great Hinton had tried to run us off the road (another story). Had that been a bad omen and although I'm not particularly superstitious when I fly I become increasingly thus.

As it turned out this was a medical emergency and therefore right up my street as so to speak. A call went out for any one who could help as a man was being violently sick and had gone into a serious state of confusion. By the time we had got to him though and got him out of his seat he was already unconscious and coning. His pupils were fixed and dilated pretty much by the time he was now laid in the aisle with his head in between my son and daughter. Although several rounds of CPR and defibrillation were tried (not to be taken lightly on a pressurised aircraft) the reality was that this poor chap had suffered a massive episode either coronary or cerobrovasularly.

And now my psych training kicked in as all around me I could see a vision of pure psychological trauma. My children suffering in front of my eyes and even the elderly or the tough medics assembled in shock. and spare a thought for the cabin crew, they are trained for this sort of thing but they are trained with dummies and they too were finding this difficult to handle, especially as they were helping to move the body and would have to do the clear up after we had landed.

I instructed the crew to make sure that the children particularly, and not just mine, were moved forward away from the scene, luckily we sat at the back of the aircraft in the cheap seats. There was still confusion but chaos was starting to calm down and there seemed a general air of relief with one person saying well at least it wasn't a terrorist with a bomb.

On arrival at Malta, and I've never been in a public aircraft landed so quickly, I did a final round of checking if everyone was OK, left my contact details whilst here on the island in case anyone needed to talk about things and took my family off to our home for the next week.

Today things seem a million miles apart but I'll keep in touch with this over the next few days .......to be continued   

Growing up, moving on the times they keep a rollin'

This is an important week in the history of my family. My youngest son starts his last week in primary school. Next term he will move into 'big' school. A whole new adventure awaits him. He got his last report this week and is achieving well beyond what he should be for an eleven year old. I cried when I read it. It has been such a journey for him from being attacked by someone who he should have been able to trust, through the long years of Home Education and the depths of insecurity that he was left with scarred onto his psyche, to the blossoming young boy that is confident and ready for his next steps.

Watching him on stage this last week performing in Joseph and his Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat I saw an exuberance of confidence that has only come about in recent months and through careful nurturing at both home and school. I cannot pay enough compliments to Bruce Douglas and his staff at Staverton who took a risk with a child who dearly wanted to be with other children but could not initially emotionally cope. I have seen him go off to stay with friends for nights and ultimately with the school on residential, neither of which ever looked likely a couple of years ago. He has moved from a non league player to a champions league winner and he has made me so totally and utterly proud to be his father. He has also done this against the backdrop of watching me go through tremendous bouts of illness and seen me in terrible pain at times, both emotionally and physically.

Yet it is not just my youngest son who makes me proud. All my children make me feel the same way. My eldest son about to make me a Grandad and training to be a Tree Surgeon, my next eldest son being able to take his Masters in Engineering because of his exams results whilst disappearing on sorties around the world, my daughter about to finish her year placement in PR at the BBC in London before completing her degree next year and  my youngest, eldest, child, my third son, getting fantastic results allowing him to start his BSc. in Computer Science this year. They are all amazing and have all succeeded in their own way.

As I reflect upon my life I look back and think would I have done somethings different. Of course I would that is he nature of hindsight however when it comes to looking at the incredible children that are before me now I wonder would doing things different have made them even more incredible? I have deep moments of regret of a few things in my life but I will never regret supporting my children to be who thy wanted to be, after all that is the role of a parent. The challenge I faced however was that my parents did not give me a role model to look up to so I had no idea what I was doing. An alcoholic father and a drug addicted depressed mother left me much to my own devices and even through the adversity of not knowing what to do there seems to be an invisible hand that has guided me. I can't put my finger on it but I always seem to have known what the right move for the children was. Unfortunately that has meant sacrifices for me including friendships and lovers and I indeed have regret in this part of my life. There are things I would have and should have done differently and even now I hope that there is some way of building bridges with some who have burned brightly but fleetingly at times in my life.

As a Psychologist it is a professional duty to reflect upon one's work and this can be quite painful. The honesty that stands before you when it is just you and the mirror can be acidic to the soul. But that cleansing process allows me to keep going. It allows me the ability to continue to fight for what I believe in and it allows me to continue the battle against my physical challenges.A couple of years ago I never dreamed that I would be writing this today. I was scared, felt very alone and did not see any sort of future for me. I believe that by helping my children they have in turn helped me. They have shown me the way back from the abyss. I am now displaying confidence rather than the youthful arrogance that I once oozed from my every pore. I now have faith that anything is possible given the right support. I have love to give with abundance and I hope that it will be drunk from my well.

And as I listen to my young son laughing with his friends in the lounge as I write this whilst waiting for the roast dinner to cook I have hope. I have hope in the future and I have absolute faith that everything I wish for will come true. And to those of you reading this today I wish nothing less than the very best for you. May you live your life in peace and happiness, may you be with the people you wish to be with and may you feel the love that you desire.

And if you're not quite there yet, well drop me a line and let me see if I can help you on your onward travel. We are all part of the same family and I will never turn you away. My heart and my ears are open and if I can help then I will


Live with passion, Peace and Happiness!  

Why does it always fall

I tell you that I love you but you do not hear
If you hear you do not listen yet I know not why
If I have offended you please do not jeer
For all I do is try and try and try
I strive with my soul all my sinews reach
Grasping at straws and begging your kiss
Yet you walk alone along a desolate beach
Fooling yourself that my heart you do not miss
I look to the sky to search for a clue
To how I might get beyond your deep frown
For this one thing I can say I know to be true
My love without you in life I should drown.

Touch my love

I think away the daylight hours
With thoughts of you and me entwined.
Our hearts will always be as one,
And our love is mighty,strong and proud.
Were it not for mountains in our way,
We'd be together in every way
Until the pass has cleared from snow,
When spring arises and we both know
That our path together shall be as one,
To contemplate else shall be defeat.
And our flowers can be undivided
To the point of mass excitement,
We are always one you and I
For we have a love that cannot die.
So remember when tonight you sleep
In your dreams you and I shall meet,
For my darling there is only you
And my heart pounds in symphony
Of beggars, Lords, Dukes and Kings.
Come cry ye all ring our bell,
Make our souls come forth and yell,
To seek our peace with each other's heart.
And never ever shall we part.

Othello at Euro 2012

Stan Collymore wrote a reflective piece today in the Sunday Press regarding the dangers facing English fan's travelling to Ukraine and Poland for Euro 2012. 

His thoughts that there was an awful lot of scaremongering going on in the press gave good argument to the contrary point portrayed in the Panorama documentary. And I am sure that he is right. We suffer more racism in this country than we like to believe. There may be an African-American President in the White House but we in the United Kingdom are a generation at least away from seeing Dr Martin Luther King's I have a Dream speech coming true here. In the land of supposed tolerance we often see the opposite reality.

Is there racism in Poland and Ukraine? Yes probably. Is it as bad as it is shown? Probably not. 

I can reflect upon an incident that tool place when I was a student studying at Liverpool University in the early 1980s. Another student was mugged in Sefton Park and was surprised that it had happened. The bicycle that the student rode was valued at about twice the amount earned in an average month's wage in the area. When he was confronted by a group of locals he was wearing a Varsity scarf and some nifty threads. When the locals taunted him, not very nice I know, he responded by saying how rich he was and that he would have a long and impressive career whereas they would be in the gutter, even less nice. He was really surprised when he was left sitting on his bum watching the mob walk away with his cycle to the comment "Looks like you'll be walking then on your impressive career"

Really that is the secret. If you go wandering off the beaten track and flaunting something in front of those who are not appreciating what you are saying or doing then things will lead to trouble. Predominantly I don't believe that the people of Ukraine or Poland are any more racist that the people of the United Kingdom but I'm also sure that there will be a minority just looking for trouble.

And should we allow those to have the headlines? Absolutely not. It may sell some papers but really come on now, Othello at Euro 2012 that would be a sure a tragedy as we are seeing in the cities of the UK.

  

Shot to the Heart

So folks I've not given you my thoughts from the edge for a while probably because I've been concentrating on other challenges not least of all my own health which for those who follow me on twitter will know has been somewhat challenging over the past few weeks.

Well one story caught my eye today and in many ways it is an old chestnut of mine. The Death Penalty.

Many of you will know that a British woman along with four others, three British and one Indian, have been arrested in Bali on suspicion of importing narcotics. As a result of this there has been a media feeding frenzy over the statement from the authorities that if she is convicted she will receive The Death Penalty.

Now those of you who know me know my objections to Capital Punishment. In a civilised society there is no room for the ultimate sanction of the state. And I think there lies the point, do we live in a civilised society? Is the human race truly civilised? How can we call ourselves civilised if we support the taking of life in such a sanitised way.

I know people will say that she was a drug runner bringing misery to many people and I understand that point of view particularly if you or a child of yours has been trapped in the wanton destruction of addiction however please take time to look at the alternate view. The person who took the drugs generally did so of their own free will in the first place.

Drug taking, one of the great four taboos in society, is as old as civilisation itself. The law of supply and demand will therefor always run out over the law of the land. Surely it is now a time for a rethink on drugs. This lady was probably fully aware of the consequences of taking drugs into a country like Indonesia that has a zero tolerance policy yet if she did do it the threat of execution obviously did not deter her. In fact Capital Punishment has never stopped the crimes it set out to deter. What would probably have prevented this from happening was if there was no financial gain to be made.

And that ultimately is how we stop drugs barons. Cut of their money supply not their heads. For it is the greed that drives on people when they talk about supplying drugs not the drugs.

Is this radical, in a way yes but in a way no. We know that the number of Dutch residents who are taking drugs have dropped in recent years yet the number of addicts in Holland has risen. The figures are deceiving for the reason for the increase of addicts in Holland is due to the foreign nationals not the indigenous population.

You cannot deal with a problem if you cannot see a problem and with drugs much of it goes on in the twilight  world out of sight and therefor out of mind.

Let us stop this nonsense now, let us wash our dirty drugs linen in public and let us rethink the whole strategy of the war on drugs, before your child becomes the next one in this situation.

Turn again Dick Whittington

The local elections are over, the race for the Mayor of London is over, people have voted in our great cities for mayors and those decisions are over.

So what is the vision of the future?

And there lies the challenge. A pathetic turn out at the polls yet again says more about the disillusionment of the electorate with the political class than it does about the democracy of Great Britain. And by doing so the British  public have in effect legitimised a system and Government that is sending this country back to the Victorian era.

Welfare

It is the mark of any civilised society that we look after the poorest, frailest and most in need of support. Instead of this happening what we are seeing are families being forced to relocate, disabled people being thrown into isolation and the elderly left to the kindness of charities and the food parcel. This tells me that we  are one step away from the workhouse again and if Tony Nicholson is given the right to get a doctor to end his life we are one step away from euthanasia of those who cannot defend their own rights. Didn't we fight a war to stop that sort of thing happening or have those in power so easily forgotten this?

Education

Education is a right, education is a must but it is not about literacy and numeracy and a set of opinionated tests that say nothing about the ability of child but all about the ability of a school to get children to exhibit Pavlovian responses from their students. What happened to the idea of expression. I am a scientist, Physical, Medical and now Psychological sciences have dominated my life, but look around and see children who have no concept of aesthetics. I see adults who have not read a book since school but can tell you exactly how Plato or Socrates work because of their life experiences. Experiences that have developed because their teachers motivated them with passion to learn. I worry that that is being destroyed by the want to drive scores and grades and I worry that the present system drives the life out of the teaching profession.

Sport

I look at the Barcelona players after being defeated by Chelsea and I saw men, not boys. To a man they stayed on the pitch and shook hands with their opponents they were honourable in defeat and sportsmanlike in their demeanour. I look at premiership players earning £100000 a week moaning to referees when they get booked and batsmen refusing to walk when they are clearly out and I think this is not how I played and it  is not how I want my children to play. It is how we lose as well as as we win that is important. The game must always be bigger than the individual

Society

Alcohol, drugs, gambling, sexism, racism and inequality. They're all there in abundance and whilst we should seek to include the positive and exclude the negative we only ever play lip service to the things that we would not talk about in polite conversation. We are a society that firmly believes in a Look after thyself first rather than Love thy neighbour attitude. In this we exclude great wedges of our society. Instead of educating people about the dangers of alcohol, drugs and gambling we sweep the challenges under the table. Instead of educating about inequality and promoting tolerance we still stay entrenched in a them and us attitude. We are still a system of class not a system of equality.


So what of the future?

We need leaders who will include, not exclude. We need leaders with empathy for all not support for corrupt practice. We need educators not invigilators.

WE NEED INSPIRATION, PASSION, ENLIGHTENMENT AND COMPASSION


And we need it......................................NOW!